By Elisha Ann Wahlquist
"There is a big difference on how I behave based on if I love you or not."
A commonplace statement? The speaker was going through I Corinthians 13, "the love chapter," when he said the above. Yet, though there may seem nothing especially noteworthy about it, it struck me to the core. I reflected on how, all too often, our actions with friends & strangers were markedly different from how we treated those we claimed to love best-our family. How many times has everyone been vivacious and happy in company, and, as soon as the family is alone on the drive home, everyone sinks back in uncaring, selfish oblivion? Looking at my own life, I condemned myself for the many times I have not paid an interested attention in what a family member was saying, when I always would pay scrupulous, interested attention to what an "outsider" would say.
The following from Home-Making has some very shrewd and convicting questions. It speaks of married life, but it easily can apply to all of our home-relationships:
"By what law of nature or of life is it that after the peals of the wedding bells have died away, …so many husbands and wives drop the charming little amenities and refinements of manner toward each other that so invariably and delightfully characterize their intercourse before marriage? …Are they so sure of each other's love that they do not need to give expression to it, either in affectionate word or act? …Is politeness merely a manner that is necessary in intercourse with the outside world, and not required when we are alone with those we love the best? Are we under no obligations to be respectful and to pay homage to our dearest friends, while even to the …veriest stranger we meet outside our own doors we feel ourselves bound to show the most perfect civility?" Home-Making, by J.R. Miller (emphasis mine)
J.R. Miller calls it courtesy, which is certainly a good word for it. But I think it goes beyond that. Coleridge said it very well in this inspiring quote:
"The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions, the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and the countless infinitesimal of pleasurable thought and genial feeling."
This challenges me to delight in being among my family members, to live most vibrantly and be most interested and attentive to my parents and siblings. It is so easy to fall into lazy or careless habits when we are with our family-and we must guard against that.
God has been very gracious to help me in this, continually reminding me, and I am thankful to Him for each victory He has given me in this area. But I still have much more to learn and put into practice, and I look forward to the grace and strength He will give me each step of the way. I know that I will fail-but that He will pick me up, forgive me, and help me to do better.
Let the following verses-and the promise of God's ever-present aid-encourage us on in giving our best love to the ones we love the most!
"Love suffereth long:
it is bountiful:
love envieth not:
love does not boast itself:
it is not puffed up:
It doth no uncomely thing:
it seeketh not her own thing:
it is not provoked to anger:
it thinketh no evil:
It rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth:
It suffereth all things:
it believeth all things:
it hopeth all things:
it endureth all things.
Love doth never fall away…"
I Corinthians 13:4-8 (Geneva)
