by Elisha Ann Wahlquist, January 2009
I recently read a book in which the hero is accused of a something he did not do. Because he felt that everyone believed him guilty, he drew into himself, and became outwardly a morose and hard young man. Every look and action of others was interpreted by him as a condemnation or slight. Feeling rejected, he buried himself in a mountain of hardened feelings caused by his interpretations of other's actions toward him. He could not even enjoy the warmth and friendliness of those who wished him well. He shunned them, too.
An extreme case? Perhaps. But more shrewdly true to life than many of us would care to admit.
It is far too easy to be sensitive to the looks and small actions of others, and, instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt, to read into them meanings that perhaps were not there. A few such misread (or even properly read) actions, and we begin to hold a small, hardly noticed "grudge" against them, and to begin to feel judged or disliked by them.
Instead of living in the joy of the Lord, caring only for what His opinion of us is, we begin to fall prey to man's opinion of us - and it's all downhill from there.
It is a great snare and trap. When Christ wants us to be free to wholeheartedly minister to those He has placed around us, and to be His hands and feet in an evil world, we bind our own feet and shorten our hands by our reaction to other's actions or looks. When God wants us to be helping the new mother at church, the "hidden thoughts of our hearts" remember the look in her eyes last week - by which we were sure she was thinking ill of us - we hesitate. The encouraging words God desired us to say died on our lips, and the moment passes, never to come again.
We just can't let our Self begin to catalog other's actions toward us - we must take every single thought captive. When we catch a negative thought towards another person flitting through our minds, we must truly forgive and forget. We must give it to God, and seek to think positively about the situation. Many times, that person was not really meaning what we interpreted. There are many circumstances we do not know about. Perhaps they were tired. Maybe they had a bad morning. Even if they did mean that judgmental look, often the person is genuinely sorry about it afterwards - but we, not knowing that, continue to hold it against them.
Let us each live in victory, and freedom from the fear of man, through Christ's strength. Then we can fully serve the Lord Christ, and, at the end of our life, hear those most wonderful words, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."
